Despite the fact that my bladder now lives just under my chin, my weight loss this week has been 1/2 lb. Am I pleased? Yes I am. The reason being, I have eaten hospital food (did I say that I was admitted after my surgery?), snacked on whatever I fancy (I am healing you know) and been unable to follow my strict gym regime (been twice in five months) so 1/2 lb off is just fine by me.
I have fallen in love with wraps, spread with Phili cheese and filled with chicken and salad. Followed by M-L yoghurt. I have learnt to fold the wraps and they are delicious and filling. They also don't need cooking, which is just as well. Home cooked food has been scarce since I went under the knife, due to the fact that I am being looked after by Nurse Cratchett. I have 'fancied' and given in but not wanted a full meal. Perhaps I need to give up on eating plans altogether and just go for weekly general aneasthetics, just as some go for Botox.
Thursday 27 May 2010
Sunday 23 May 2010
Sunday 23rd May
What a weekend!
I only went into hospital for the day for a routine op and came out 1 day later having had more attention in the 'ladies department' than I have ever had in the whole of my life. I have been left with alot of pain, a belly that looks like I've been carrying for at least 5 months and the energy level of a toddler. However, I am off for the next two weeks so this blog could get very boring indeed!!!
I am now an expert in hospital food (having experienced 3 meals, and one of them was breakfast (choice of cereal)) and I have to say that it wasn't half bad. I had a sandwich on the first evening and chicken korma followed by cherry pie and hot custard ( I am healing!!) for lunch the following day. It was the portion size that got me. Now I have been a nurse for more years than I care to remember and I have fed many a patient. But the portions looked as though they wouldn't satisfy a flea, however, I was stuffed. There is something to be said for portion control.
Before I went into hospital I had a very health, healing inducing supper of salad with various 'added bits' such as baby corns, grapes and watercress. In an attempt to be in tip top condition and heal quickly. Imagine my surprise when I sufferred every complication explained to me, all before 5 pm in the afternoon! My surgery was at 9 am and I managed to sit upright at around 3pm because of low blood pressure. And that was just the start.
Anyway, I am safe at home now, walking as though I have done the coast-to-coast on a bumpy road on the back of a lame mule! With my belly containing a bowling ball and my lady parts begging for gender re-organisation!
Food -wise I am back on track and going off now to watch Micheal Buble
I only went into hospital for the day for a routine op and came out 1 day later having had more attention in the 'ladies department' than I have ever had in the whole of my life. I have been left with alot of pain, a belly that looks like I've been carrying for at least 5 months and the energy level of a toddler. However, I am off for the next two weeks so this blog could get very boring indeed!!!
I am now an expert in hospital food (having experienced 3 meals, and one of them was breakfast (choice of cereal)) and I have to say that it wasn't half bad. I had a sandwich on the first evening and chicken korma followed by cherry pie and hot custard ( I am healing!!) for lunch the following day. It was the portion size that got me. Now I have been a nurse for more years than I care to remember and I have fed many a patient. But the portions looked as though they wouldn't satisfy a flea, however, I was stuffed. There is something to be said for portion control.
Before I went into hospital I had a very health, healing inducing supper of salad with various 'added bits' such as baby corns, grapes and watercress. In an attempt to be in tip top condition and heal quickly. Imagine my surprise when I sufferred every complication explained to me, all before 5 pm in the afternoon! My surgery was at 9 am and I managed to sit upright at around 3pm because of low blood pressure. And that was just the start.
Anyway, I am safe at home now, walking as though I have done the coast-to-coast on a bumpy road on the back of a lame mule! With my belly containing a bowling ball and my lady parts begging for gender re-organisation!
Food -wise I am back on track and going off now to watch Micheal Buble
Tuesday 18 May 2010
Tuesday 18th May
According to 'Countryfile' the weather is going to be fabulous this weekend. So in celebration of this I have worn a skirt to work for the last two days. I bought this pencil skirt fairly recently, in the last year not when they were in vogue originally! However, my Jo-Lo buttocks are quite a strain on the fabric. I wore a sleeveless top which looked quite nice and the cellulite on the top of my arms matched the pattern of my top. I wore black tights and flat black shoes. In the light of my bedroom I looked cool and sophisticated so off I went to work. Once at work, in the good light and in front of a full length mirror I noticed that not only was I wearing the shoes of a librarian but my skirt and top did not match. Not only did they not match but I looked like I had run naked through my Mothers wardrobe and grabbed anything that was available. To add to my 'Gok Wan' moment, my tights had decided to go visiting my ankles and were definately heading in a southerly direction Officer. But my feet were comfortable and as my Mother would say, 'I was neat'. Shaving my legs and armspits would have been a bonus!
Anyway, food wise the new magazine was waiting for me in my shed when I finished group last night. So today I read it cover to cover. I make no bones about my love for the Slimming World magazine, second only to my love of 'Woman & Home'. I read up on the 7 day meal planner and made a list of all of the ingredients. I decided to go shopping and as I am having surgery on Friday, don't want to do any shopping from Friday onwards.
So I went to my local store and bought the ingredients, costing all together £66.00. I was well pleased. So tonight we had glazed hot chicken salad which is free on an Extra Easy day and was totally delicious. I bought loads of fruit, grapes, bananas, nectarines (very expensive!!!), blueberries and melon. I am preparing for being off, being bored and taking total control of not eating rubbish while watching daytime TV.
I have set myself some tasks. My OU course assignment for one, revising for my OU exam and getting to grip with my knitting of a Christening blanket which I started in 1974! The point I am trying to make is that planning is the key. Looking forward, seeing what hurdles are approaching and getting prepared for those hurdles.
I have decided to aim to lose 2 lb per week. I am going on a cruise in February and want to look as though I have the choice of desperate, middle aged men with heart complaints and not settle for any port in a storm ('cuse the pun!). Breakfast tomorrow is going to be fat free natural yoghurt with banana and blueberries with hard boiled egg salad for lunch. Sorted!
Anyway, food wise the new magazine was waiting for me in my shed when I finished group last night. So today I read it cover to cover. I make no bones about my love for the Slimming World magazine, second only to my love of 'Woman & Home'. I read up on the 7 day meal planner and made a list of all of the ingredients. I decided to go shopping and as I am having surgery on Friday, don't want to do any shopping from Friday onwards.
So I went to my local store and bought the ingredients, costing all together £66.00. I was well pleased. So tonight we had glazed hot chicken salad which is free on an Extra Easy day and was totally delicious. I bought loads of fruit, grapes, bananas, nectarines (very expensive!!!), blueberries and melon. I am preparing for being off, being bored and taking total control of not eating rubbish while watching daytime TV.
I have set myself some tasks. My OU course assignment for one, revising for my OU exam and getting to grip with my knitting of a Christening blanket which I started in 1974! The point I am trying to make is that planning is the key. Looking forward, seeing what hurdles are approaching and getting prepared for those hurdles.
I have decided to aim to lose 2 lb per week. I am going on a cruise in February and want to look as though I have the choice of desperate, middle aged men with heart complaints and not settle for any port in a storm ('cuse the pun!). Breakfast tomorrow is going to be fat free natural yoghurt with banana and blueberries with hard boiled egg salad for lunch. Sorted!
Saturday 15 May 2010
Saturday 15th May
The weekends prove to be rather difficult for me but today I have succeeded in being in control. I had toast and marmite for breakfast then a Hi-Fi bar for a snack. I then went out to lunch with a friend, her children and my children (TGUW & MGA in case you had forgotten their names!). Now, you may remember that TGUW is moving to his Fathers soon. In fact it's very soon, 3 weeks, and whilst I am glad that he is getting his life in check, I am bereft that he is leaving. I wanted him to go to university so I am telling my brain that he is going away to college (almost Univ, a place of learning) and that naturally he is going to grow and develop into a fine young man. But my heart, my heart is singing a very different tune.
He has given me the date of his leaving and his Father is coming to pick him up. We have decided to go out for a family meal before he goes but the thought of him leaving causes me physical pain. This comes at a time when I am about to acknowledge the 1st anniversary of my Mums death. She died slap, bang in between my birthday and my Sisters birthday, but enjoyed her own!. So, the point I am trying to make is that I know that I have a painful time coming up. There is nothing I can do about this impending train crash in my personal calender but knowing that I am an emotional eater, I will have to plan and organise even more than usual (yes, I do plan usually!)
Anyway, the food diaries are coming out. I will write done what I will be having for my evening meal on one side, the ingredients needed to create the meal on the other side and this will also inform my shopping list as well as inform MGA what not to eat! Resources to be used will be the SW magazine, recipe books and my personal fav, the 7 day meal planner (new members pack). I will make sure that I am eating healthily and taking some exercise too. I have had depression in the past and know the warning signs so will be aware and ready for action. Watch this space!
On a slightly lighter note I have been looking at my photos, adding some onto Facebook so thought that I would add some to this blog. I thought that I would concentrate on 'before' photos. Now, you may not recognise me but stay with it, the change will be dramatic!!!!!!!!
He has given me the date of his leaving and his Father is coming to pick him up. We have decided to go out for a family meal before he goes but the thought of him leaving causes me physical pain. This comes at a time when I am about to acknowledge the 1st anniversary of my Mums death. She died slap, bang in between my birthday and my Sisters birthday, but enjoyed her own!. So, the point I am trying to make is that I know that I have a painful time coming up. There is nothing I can do about this impending train crash in my personal calender but knowing that I am an emotional eater, I will have to plan and organise even more than usual (yes, I do plan usually!)
Anyway, the food diaries are coming out. I will write done what I will be having for my evening meal on one side, the ingredients needed to create the meal on the other side and this will also inform my shopping list as well as inform MGA what not to eat! Resources to be used will be the SW magazine, recipe books and my personal fav, the 7 day meal planner (new members pack). I will make sure that I am eating healthily and taking some exercise too. I have had depression in the past and know the warning signs so will be aware and ready for action. Watch this space!
On a slightly lighter note I have been looking at my photos, adding some onto Facebook so thought that I would add some to this blog. I thought that I would concentrate on 'before' photos. Now, you may not recognise me but stay with it, the change will be dramatic!!!!!!!!
Wednesday 12 May 2010
Wednesday 12th May
I've done it! I've lost the 2lbs I was aiming to lose this week. I have completed my food diary and been very conscientious. I am Slimming World genius.
I have cracked it with the Prawn Curry and today, being a red day, had a grill-up for brunch and then made Cottage Pie for dinner but used layered potatoes instead of mash so took total control on the spud front.
I also made Rhubarb and Ginger Brulee thanks to my members bringing me the rhubarb and I also made Curly Wurly cake. Now if ever there was a disappointment in life, it's Curly Wurly cake. 12 syns per whole cake! I would rather eat 2 Curly Wurlys at 6 syns each than eat the cake.£
I bought the Curly Wurlys which were only available in a 5 pack (for £1, a bargain), bought the satchets of chocolate options and surprisingly had the Scan Bran taking up valuable space in my cupboards (can't sell the stuff for love nor money!). I followed the recipe and TGUW and I bonded over its production. He crushed the Scan Bran whilst telling me about my lack of mothering skills compared to those of his Father, with whom he is going to live. Needless to say the eggs were very whisked and the Curly Wurly cut into very small pieces with a very sharpe knife. Curly Wurly number 1 went into cake number 1 and Curly Wurly number 2 went into TGUW back pocket, as did Curly Wurly number 3. Curly Wurly number 4 went into cake number 2 and Curly Wurly number 5 went into my mouth as I stood in disbelief at said production. Well, the fact that I am taking a whole cake and another half of one to group tomorrow night speaks volumes. Lets just wait and see what group has to say. I stood in the kitchen contemplating how to improve it and decided that the bin was too good for it and that perhaps the Ferrets would like a treat!
Now I have to tell you of this fabulous TV programme I have discovered. It's on at Living TV 9pm on a Thursday, called 'Drop Dead Diva'. It's about a thin, blonde model (Deb) who dies but is re-incarnated into the body of a large, brunette lawyer (Jane). It is very well done and the actress who plays the lead is great. She moves like a thin girl, tottering along and really does act as though she is thin, trying to squeeze passed people, tight spaces etc. She is fabulous, give it a go. It brings up all sorts of size-ist prejudices. By the way, I really love that advert for John Lewis using the music, ' She's always a woman'. Very clever.
I have cracked it with the Prawn Curry and today, being a red day, had a grill-up for brunch and then made Cottage Pie for dinner but used layered potatoes instead of mash so took total control on the spud front.
I also made Rhubarb and Ginger Brulee thanks to my members bringing me the rhubarb and I also made Curly Wurly cake. Now if ever there was a disappointment in life, it's Curly Wurly cake. 12 syns per whole cake! I would rather eat 2 Curly Wurlys at 6 syns each than eat the cake.£
I bought the Curly Wurlys which were only available in a 5 pack (for £1, a bargain), bought the satchets of chocolate options and surprisingly had the Scan Bran taking up valuable space in my cupboards (can't sell the stuff for love nor money!). I followed the recipe and TGUW and I bonded over its production. He crushed the Scan Bran whilst telling me about my lack of mothering skills compared to those of his Father, with whom he is going to live. Needless to say the eggs were very whisked and the Curly Wurly cut into very small pieces with a very sharpe knife. Curly Wurly number 1 went into cake number 1 and Curly Wurly number 2 went into TGUW back pocket, as did Curly Wurly number 3. Curly Wurly number 4 went into cake number 2 and Curly Wurly number 5 went into my mouth as I stood in disbelief at said production. Well, the fact that I am taking a whole cake and another half of one to group tomorrow night speaks volumes. Lets just wait and see what group has to say. I stood in the kitchen contemplating how to improve it and decided that the bin was too good for it and that perhaps the Ferrets would like a treat!
Now I have to tell you of this fabulous TV programme I have discovered. It's on at Living TV 9pm on a Thursday, called 'Drop Dead Diva'. It's about a thin, blonde model (Deb) who dies but is re-incarnated into the body of a large, brunette lawyer (Jane). It is very well done and the actress who plays the lead is great. She moves like a thin girl, tottering along and really does act as though she is thin, trying to squeeze passed people, tight spaces etc. She is fabulous, give it a go. It brings up all sorts of size-ist prejudices. By the way, I really love that advert for John Lewis using the music, ' She's always a woman'. Very clever.
Monday 10 May 2010
Monday 10th May
Did you think that I had won the Euro millions and had vanished to some exotic place. Well, Penrith to be exact. And I haven't had plastic surgery, having to relay on Food Optimising for my dramatic weight loss.
My 2 lbs loss is looming, actaully it's 1/2 lb so far and I have been pretty hot on the optimising thing! I have it sorted with regards to breakfast, shreddies (40), fat free yoghurt and fruit. Lunch is slightly more of a problem. I get sooooo hungry at about 10 o'clock and then I could eat a scabby sheep come lunchtime.
Today I had left over pasta for lunch which was not good. Last night when I was filling the slow cooker with salmon, potatoes and veggies, I boiled some eggs so that I have them on tap. I could have them with salad and Muller light yoghurts. Actually, I love M-L yoghurts and my fav is cheesecake flavour, so that is no hardship. I think I may have cous cous and boiled egg. I preach planning and organisation but today I fail miserably. Tomorrow - a green day.
I also made a huge mistake with the sugar. I bought something called 'Half Spoon' which was with the plastic sugars. It is as it says, half a spoon is the same as a full spoon so it is in fact sweeter than normal sugar. Big mistake! I think that I will have to go cold turkey on the sugar front.
I tried this thing where you buy chocolate, eat a square one day at a time and the chocolate craving is satisfied. I bought a bar and ate a square, then another and another until the whole bar was gone. Didn't work. Going cold turkey on chocolate too it seems! I only bought it because it was strategically located by the door of Morrisons garage. I had only gone in to buy milk.
My 2 lbs loss is looming, actaully it's 1/2 lb so far and I have been pretty hot on the optimising thing! I have it sorted with regards to breakfast, shreddies (40), fat free yoghurt and fruit. Lunch is slightly more of a problem. I get sooooo hungry at about 10 o'clock and then I could eat a scabby sheep come lunchtime.
Today I had left over pasta for lunch which was not good. Last night when I was filling the slow cooker with salmon, potatoes and veggies, I boiled some eggs so that I have them on tap. I could have them with salad and Muller light yoghurts. Actually, I love M-L yoghurts and my fav is cheesecake flavour, so that is no hardship. I think I may have cous cous and boiled egg. I preach planning and organisation but today I fail miserably. Tomorrow - a green day.
I also made a huge mistake with the sugar. I bought something called 'Half Spoon' which was with the plastic sugars. It is as it says, half a spoon is the same as a full spoon so it is in fact sweeter than normal sugar. Big mistake! I think that I will have to go cold turkey on the sugar front.
I tried this thing where you buy chocolate, eat a square one day at a time and the chocolate craving is satisfied. I bought a bar and ate a square, then another and another until the whole bar was gone. Didn't work. Going cold turkey on chocolate too it seems! I only bought it because it was strategically located by the door of Morrisons garage. I had only gone in to buy milk.
Friday 7 May 2010
Friday 7th May
I have succeeded, I am powerful, in control woman. I have kept to the eating plan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Breakfast was melon, shreddies (28g Healthy B) and fat free yoghurt. Lunch was jacket potato (no butter) and baked beans. Dinner was ' Speedy Prawn Curry' from the new curry book.
I declined to visit the vending machine when my tummy rumbled, I walked passed the trolley of scones in the corridor and I made dinner instead of munching on bread and butter.
The secret of my success at lunch time was because I walked into the canteen, walked over to the jacket potato stand and just ordered. No looking about, no loittering around by the crisps. No looking at what I knew I couldn't have. Bingo, walked out with potato secure in polystyrene packaging. I picked on grapes, bananas and Muller light yoghurts (free), but did have an Alpen Bar (Healthy B)
I walked passed the trolley of scones, there would have been witnesses but my coat with many pockets and false arms is always to hand. Always to hand, get it? I'm wasted on this blog. I walked passed because I just thought, 'No'.
Dinner of prawn curry. Now Friday night is usually curry night so this new book could be the answer to my dreams. Or is it? I'm on a green day and most of the curries are free or low syn only on a red day or extra easy day. Classic curry is 13.5 syns on green and lamb Rogan Josh is 8.5 so I chose to cook prawn curry at 7 syns. It was as easy as said. Tin tomatoes, garlic, ginger, curry, prawns, yoghurt and corriander for the dressing. Served with rice (3 syns) De-lish-us!!
Now at 7 syns, well within my 10 syns. However, I have had cups of tea. Five to be exact, which means 5 syns as I insist on taking sugar in my tea. So when I was out and about, okay I was in Morrisons, I bought 1/2 sugar which is supposed to taste like sugar but only have half the sugar (the clue is in the name). It was also cheaper than Candarel so I thought that I would give it a go. Review to follow. I also made a jelly, 1/2 syn, for that sweet craving thing that usually happens during 'Ashes to Ashes'. Planning you see, works every time.
Total syns = 15. What! Where did that extra 5 come from, rice! Should of have salad! Will pull back tomorrow.
I am so positive that I bought a lottery ticket for tonights draw. Tomorrow I will be on a red day. If there is no blog you know that I have won the £65 million and I am jetting off to somewhere hot and couldn't give a toss what I looked like, after all there are surgeons where ever the money will take me.
Breakfast was melon, shreddies (28g Healthy B) and fat free yoghurt. Lunch was jacket potato (no butter) and baked beans. Dinner was ' Speedy Prawn Curry' from the new curry book.
I declined to visit the vending machine when my tummy rumbled, I walked passed the trolley of scones in the corridor and I made dinner instead of munching on bread and butter.
The secret of my success at lunch time was because I walked into the canteen, walked over to the jacket potato stand and just ordered. No looking about, no loittering around by the crisps. No looking at what I knew I couldn't have. Bingo, walked out with potato secure in polystyrene packaging. I picked on grapes, bananas and Muller light yoghurts (free), but did have an Alpen Bar (Healthy B)
I walked passed the trolley of scones, there would have been witnesses but my coat with many pockets and false arms is always to hand. Always to hand, get it? I'm wasted on this blog. I walked passed because I just thought, 'No'.
Dinner of prawn curry. Now Friday night is usually curry night so this new book could be the answer to my dreams. Or is it? I'm on a green day and most of the curries are free or low syn only on a red day or extra easy day. Classic curry is 13.5 syns on green and lamb Rogan Josh is 8.5 so I chose to cook prawn curry at 7 syns. It was as easy as said. Tin tomatoes, garlic, ginger, curry, prawns, yoghurt and corriander for the dressing. Served with rice (3 syns) De-lish-us!!
Now at 7 syns, well within my 10 syns. However, I have had cups of tea. Five to be exact, which means 5 syns as I insist on taking sugar in my tea. So when I was out and about, okay I was in Morrisons, I bought 1/2 sugar which is supposed to taste like sugar but only have half the sugar (the clue is in the name). It was also cheaper than Candarel so I thought that I would give it a go. Review to follow. I also made a jelly, 1/2 syn, for that sweet craving thing that usually happens during 'Ashes to Ashes'. Planning you see, works every time.
Total syns = 15. What! Where did that extra 5 come from, rice! Should of have salad! Will pull back tomorrow.
I am so positive that I bought a lottery ticket for tonights draw. Tomorrow I will be on a red day. If there is no blog you know that I have won the £65 million and I am jetting off to somewhere hot and couldn't give a toss what I looked like, after all there are surgeons where ever the money will take me.
Thursday 6 May 2010
Thursday 6th May
So where have I been and what have I been doing?
Well, I have been working, eating and then working and eating again. I did manage to get my weight down to under 12st 7lbs and then, without little effort, managed to take my weight up to 12st 10lbs. Under different circumstances I would be celebrating the achievement but I am actually wanting to lose weight aren't I? Well aren't I?
I am now a size 12 which is what I wanted to be. I can run up three flights of stairs at work without getting breathless or without my legs giving way and with my new hair cut and colour, I am complimented on how well I am looking. So what is the problem? The problem is I want to lose weight, I want to be a definite size 12 and I want to lose my belly.
My belly comes from my Mother, apple-shaped. It is handy to rest my arms on when I'm sitting in a traffic jam and its handy for when I'm knitting too. But when I'm in the bath, lying back and practising turning off the taps with my feet (and wondering if I will ever be able to hold a pen and sign my name as seen on 'Planet of the Apes'), my belly does take on a life of its own and I would really like to part company with it. My trousers have also learnt to un-zip all by themselves. I come from a talented family!!
So tonight I have challenged my SW group to losing 2 lbs by next week, me included. The aim of this exercise is to lose weight, plan and organise. Following the Food Optimising plan 100% will guarantee a great weight loss and the secret is to follow it, plan meals and enjoy the food. I am set, I am ready. I have my lunch planned for tomorrow (on a green day), jacket potato with baked beans, Muller light yoghurt. Dinner is to be curry from the new 'Curry Heaven' book and breakfast will be Shreddies, melon and Total 0% yoghurt. Sorted.
We had Chinese take-away for tea!
Well, I have been working, eating and then working and eating again. I did manage to get my weight down to under 12st 7lbs and then, without little effort, managed to take my weight up to 12st 10lbs. Under different circumstances I would be celebrating the achievement but I am actually wanting to lose weight aren't I? Well aren't I?
I am now a size 12 which is what I wanted to be. I can run up three flights of stairs at work without getting breathless or without my legs giving way and with my new hair cut and colour, I am complimented on how well I am looking. So what is the problem? The problem is I want to lose weight, I want to be a definite size 12 and I want to lose my belly.
My belly comes from my Mother, apple-shaped. It is handy to rest my arms on when I'm sitting in a traffic jam and its handy for when I'm knitting too. But when I'm in the bath, lying back and practising turning off the taps with my feet (and wondering if I will ever be able to hold a pen and sign my name as seen on 'Planet of the Apes'), my belly does take on a life of its own and I would really like to part company with it. My trousers have also learnt to un-zip all by themselves. I come from a talented family!!
So tonight I have challenged my SW group to losing 2 lbs by next week, me included. The aim of this exercise is to lose weight, plan and organise. Following the Food Optimising plan 100% will guarantee a great weight loss and the secret is to follow it, plan meals and enjoy the food. I am set, I am ready. I have my lunch planned for tomorrow (on a green day), jacket potato with baked beans, Muller light yoghurt. Dinner is to be curry from the new 'Curry Heaven' book and breakfast will be Shreddies, melon and Total 0% yoghurt. Sorted.
We had Chinese take-away for tea!
Tuesday 4 May 2010
Week commencing 8th March
Now where have I been – couldn’t actually tell you. I’ve been eating, I know that much! Life has gone on pretty much without incident (except TGUW has left home) but I have still managed to be quietly totally out of control. My eating has been hitty missy with home cooked meals few and far between and lunch taking very low priority.
I have not formally exercised in the last two weeks but I have been to yoga, been the only one there apart from the teacher which highlighted by inflexibility and my cheating too. On the Sunday I did not Zumba as my much younger colleague bailed out with a hang over (they say that youth is wasted on the young!) so I went for a walk instead. I walked from my house in Bridge Street around the back of the Citroen garage (points of interest) along by Althams, crossed over by Ghyllmount Dentist, walked by North Lakes Spa and the long way round, not by North Lakes School, but by the Cricket Club and Ullswater School instead. Stopped at Step-Papas for a cup of tea and then home via the shortest way possible. I felt very good, relaxed, toned and then slept for most of the day! All this thanks to a hang over and not even mine!
Now I have a confession to make. I am an emotional eater. There, I said it. Any change in my emotions and I head for food. Now I have made no secret of the fact that my son and I have a dis-harmonious relationship at the moment but it has gone on for over a year and finally came to ahead. I asked him to leave and live elsewhere and within 24 hours he had cleared his belongings from his room and set up camp with a friend. The attic room is strangely quiet and the food is the fridge is strangely still there but I have a broken heart. Now, without boring you with the finer details I do firmly believe that TGUW had out grown the nest and the fact that he settled quickly into new accommodation proves that he is resourceful and capable but I feel terrible. I am a failure as a Mother as well as a weight loser. I have spent the last week crying, pacing and re-living. It was a long time coming but not easy. If he had gone to University I would be fretting and sending food parcels but in this case I am not. I am fretting but the food is staying put!
Actually, the food is not staying put. I am herding it into my mouth with frightening ferocity. I actually had 3 Chunky Kit-Kats in one afternoon and the rugby hadn’t even started! And MGA and I have had three Chinese take outs this week.
No exercise (formal), half hearted attempt at weight loss, emotional termoil –
Weight loss this week = 1 lb
Week commencing 15th March
Not a great week by anybodies standards. Firstly I had my appraisal which only served to show that I am an incompetent, middle aged, bitter and twisted woman who cannot bare to be told that she is an incompetent, middle aged, bitter and twisted woman by someone’s whose chest still resides above their waist. I played dumb a lot of the time which meant that my appraiser had to answer the questions herself, I’m glad to say that she passed, but did not make her more tolerable of me.
The following day we had the research monitors in and they decided that out of the four desks in the office only one looked so inviting that they simply had to use it. I was evicted to the library. Now before all this happened I had received an e-mail to tell me that my friend, Annie, had died the day before. She had breast cancer five years ago and when I saw her last, five years ago, she had completed treatment and had had her mastectomy. In fact, she greeted me at her front door topless so I could see her scar. I would have preferred to walk into the house first and even have a cup of tea but that was Annie for you.
She had a huge impact on my life. I went to work on her ward just after Josh was born. I worked on the Bank there and was asked to apply for a permanent position when one came up. We worked together most weekends and did extra shifts together. I would collect her in the morning and drop her off after shift. She was once told off my the management for riding a bike on the ward and would frequently climb into bed with the patients if she felt that they were lonely or sad. We worked well together, she would wash hair and clean behind the beds while I would be looking after the acute patients and their machines. She taught me that to be a good nurse you don’t have to be good at looking after machines, read charts and balance budgets, it helps certainly, but to be a good nurse you have to have time, patience and a genuine interest in people. I looked after machines and she looked after people and I can tell you, she cracked it every time! We would have bacon sandwiches and maple and pecan twists on a Sunday and I adored her. She was married to a Malaysian man called Dave, had six beautiful children in 7 years, was a strict Catholic and called her husband, ‘The Black Bastard’. By the time I had moved to Cumbria Annie had 4 Grand-children and was as happy as a pig in …. She didn’t do birthday cards or Xmas cards so it was a bit one sided and no-body really new her age. I had actually been thinking of her all month because I know that her birthday is in March so was sending her positive thoughts. On the day of her retirement ‘do’ she was the only one that didn’t go because she was having a mastectomy – she didn’t tell a soul
Annie lived in a huge house in Goodmayes, Ilford. She loved her house and one of her sons was, is, a designer so there was always things going on. She prepared banquets for friends and encouraged children to thump away at the piano. Where you and I would have garden gnomes Annie had an over turned shopping trolley in the front garden and she had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. She had a boxer dog, endless cats and a house that was always upside down. She had a neighbour/odd job man called Penfold (Danger Mouse reference) and another neighbour called Asian Elvis (who had a thing for me incidentally). I last saw her five years ago after she had had her surgery but talked on the phone albeit infrequently. She was the kindest, wildest, most wanton woman I had ever met and she will definitely be the brightest star in heaven.
So, I spent the day in the library supposedly working but actually I just sat. I found a book about womens experiences of breast cancer and read that. They are so strong and resilient, I read it wonder!
Throughout the day I contacted and was contacted by friends in London and plans were made for me to go to Annies funeral on 25th March. I e-mailed my Auntie Shirley and Uncle Ken to say that I was coming to London and could we meet for a coffee. Ken e-mailed me back to say that Shirleys breast cancer had returned with force and had affected her bladder, bones and brain. She was under the care of Macmillan services and had a few weeks to live. I last saw Shirley in July at my Mums funeral and she was ageless, glamorous and as lady-like as ever. She went grey in her twenties so was ageless. She was also beautifully turned out, slim for all of her life and elegant. My Mum was the opposite and I remember as a kid being quite jealous of her daughters for having such a Mum. But I wouldn’t have swapped.
My week has not been great.
But I have been in control of my eating. My Caesar salad addiction is taking off nicely and in fact, members are following. I have been really well in control this week and planned evening meals too. It is easier cooking for just me and MGA, no pressure on time, no meat if we don’t want meat and just a relaxed atmosphere at home.
Weight loss = 2 lbs
Week commencing 22nd March
Going to London this week, to Annies funeral and to say goodbye to Auntie Shirley. Actually Auntie Shirley died on Monday morning at 6.30. As she was my Mums best friend, known me for 46 years and was a constant in my life, I feel slightly bereft. Anyway, food is the order of the day and food is where I find solace.
I was getting ready for group, walking around town, and had the desire for chocolate. The only thing I could find was a Double Decker so I bought it and walked along munching happily. Then it happened, an ex-member started waving furiously at me from across the road so I had to stop and exchange pleasantries. She asked about class and when I asked her when she would be coming back she told me while rubbing her seven month pregnant stomach.
What members will do to get out of coming to group!!
Have returned from 3 day visit to London which, quite frankly, was as bad as I thought. I saw my Mums Best Friends family and ate platefuls of food there. As the caterers had been in there were lots of lovely goodies including finger-food Danish Pastries. One had to try them! I had the statutory fish balls and was then given home-made Chicken soup. Now this was in a container, frozen and then secured with Redbridge Council Biohazard tape, just to make sure it could escape. When I got back to my friends where I was staying, the soup was placed in the freezer in between the frozen peas and frozen mice (they have a snake). I needed wine so had 3 glassfuls before falling into bed.
The following day I went to Annies funeral which turned out to be a full 90 minutes mass followed by a 30 minute burial. The mass was lovely but the crunch came when family talked about their Mum and how she had touched the lives of everyone that she met. There were poems and music and even a Soprano. It was beautiful but emotionally draining. Lunch was an M&S sandwich and dinner was at a Chinese restaurant at Gants Hill, with wine and then more wine at home. Oh yes, in between that I bought an ice cream which was a cone with a double scoop of mint choc chip and banana fudge. This is turning into a confessional!
The point I am trying to make is that it is okay to eat and eat what one wants but take charge and then don’t complain when the weight goes on. I have no way been out of control of my eating, I have been in control of eating whatever I want, enjoying it, and knowing why I am doing it. I feel sad, it’s as simple as that. But at the end of the week when I have put on that 2 lbs that I lost last week I will know why, except it and get back on track. In fact the getting back on track has already started. I took boiled egg and Caesar salad and yoghurts for lunch today, declined wine last night and left the chocolate in the display shelf in Morrisons. I feel in charge and empowered.
I did, however, do the dutiful cooking thing last night. Thinking that I had neglected MGA for three days I thought that I would cook to make up for it so attempted to re-create the Delia Smith Waitrose advert of Rhubarb and Ginger Crème Brulee. I replaced the greek yoghurt with Total 0% greek yoghurt and then replaced the double cream with fat free Creme Fraiche. The only dodgy thing was the sugar coating. So I boiled the rhubarb, drained off the juice, covered with the Crème Fraiche and Yoghurt mixture, covered liberally with brown sugar and grilled until bubbly. Then realised that I had forgotten to add the Ginger!
The result was absolutely delicious! The consistency was right, the rhubarb had bite and the topping was brittle. The whole thing was perfect, until I bit down on a piece of topping and broke my tooth! The Dentist estimates about £45 for the filling which is being done on Wednesday.
‘Are you still off chocolate?’, says Smartie-Pants-Thin-Colleague. ‘No’ replies Middle-Aged-But-Powerfully-Attractive-Bolg-Writer. The truth is I am back on my chocolate equals wellbeing cycle but did manage 4 weeks of abstinence which I think desires a ‘tificate. I didn’t really miss it and I haven’t really missed bread either, except that now it is back in the house I am eating it like the bomb is about to land. Strange isn’t it?
I have also been on my charity shop trawl and bought myself some new clothes, same size as before (14) but hey! I bought a grey wrap over dress, some ‘pull it up and hold it in’ tights and some big colourful beads. I looked great. Until I sat down that is, then the tights slipped, belly made bid for freedom and it was ‘bulges us’.
I never quite get it right.
Week commencing 5th April
I have survived Easter. Not only did I get no eggs, I bought no eggs either. I did buy fruit pastilles for MGA (I was tricked, Your Honour). I was given a box of Ferrero Roche chocolates and scoffed the lot – there was only 4 in the box and the excitement of eating them all while the kettle boiled was almost too much to bare. And I haven’t loss my mojo when it comes to eating quickly and quietly, a trait that MGA has also acquired, probably from my Mother.
I went to my Sisters for Easter Sunday and managed to fob her off with the Christmas pudding so my house was completely safe. I Have to ask at this point, does what you eat at someone else’s house count? I had salmon, pots and veggies but I don’t suppose the chocolate sponge with chocolate custard or the cheesecake was a good idea. Although dipping the strawberries in the chocolate custard was very popular amongst the other guests! Anyway, my fridge is full of salads, no bread since TGUW left home, sugar free jelly and low fat dips. Perfect!
But lo! What sight upon yon cupboard shelf doth breaks? It is fair jar of sauce and chocolate is its name! Now this jar of chocolate sauce is left over from the Ringtons Hamper that I bought at Xmas. I have no biscuits, sponge cake or Ryvitta left, the only thing I have is Rice Cakes. They’ll do!
Image the scene, sitting on chair, dressed in ‘Slanket’ (blanket with arms, thank fully no mouth!), over-sized hand knitted socks, eating rice cakes covered in chocolate sauce. MGA turns to me and says’ You want to have a look at yourself’
And I wonder why I’m single!
So today I am turning it around.
Organisation is the order of the day. Last night I got the slow cooker out and into I put mince turkey, pots, leeks, peas, onions, carrots, turnip that had seen better days, Lee & Perrins sauce, Oxo cube, boiling water = Varty Slosh. Now this dish is cooked over many, many hours and is ready for when myself and MGA have finished group. As everything is included there is no waiting for veg to cook so we eat as soon as we get in and because this recipe was given to us by the lovely Kim Varty it is cooked with love and is real comfort food.
Back to organisation;
Breakfast – Shreddies 29g = 40 shreddies
½ tub Total 0% greek yoghurt
Rest of chocolate sauce (cannot waste food, Mother would not be happy)
Chopped Pear (goes well with chocolate sauce)
Lunch – Caesar salad
Hard boiled egg
Muller Light yoghurts
Snack – Hi-Fi bar
Muller light yoghurt
Dinner – Varty Slosh
Naughty things – 1 Cadburys Crème egg (goooooo). I only bought 1 when the lady in the shop (her with horns and a tail) told me it was 2 for 80p (and you know how I love a bargin!)
Food Diary. I think I will give everyone a food diary tonight at group, just to get them back on track. Ideas come thick and fast when what you eat is healthy and energising!
Right so, back on track. Thursday had a really bad day which kinda slid into a really bad evening not helped by my Manager coming to watch me in action. I felt as though I had some reflection to do and this inspired me to get my act together so this weekend I;
Read Slimming World books
Read ‘Chooses Success’ especially concentrating on page 1 and page 4
Decided on changing usual foods so,
Bought new food
Cooked new food
Ate and enjoyed new food
Counted Syns when necessary
Allowed for 15 syns on Saturday and then back to 10 Syns on Sunday
Allowed for 10 syns for rest of week
Exercised – cleaned out shed
Exercised – cleaned out garden
Exercised – Hip Hop class at the gym. Yes, you read right, a hip hop class
Things I did differently;
Bought more fruit, on offer at Morrisons
Bought more veg, on offer at Morrisons
Counted stolen sweets, 4 midget gems = 1.5 syns, 8 = 3 syns stc
Allowed for more syns on Saturday, which I have recognised as my ‘rubbish at keeping to plan’ day
Expressed desire to lose weight and to eat healthily
Bought white blouse that requires stomach and over flowing chesticles to be kept under control/reduced, when wearing it.
Went to the gym
Planned exercise routine with colleague who is in training for marathon-type-activity and is therefore totally intolerant of excuses
Active at home, actually active in the garden
Planned meals ahead (Varty Slosh cooking as I write)
Planned lunches ahead and stuck to them (Its only Monday!)
Now where have I been – couldn’t actually tell you. I’ve been eating, I know that much! Life has gone on pretty much without incident (except TGUW has left home) but I have still managed to be quietly totally out of control. My eating has been hitty missy with home cooked meals few and far between and lunch taking very low priority.
I have not formally exercised in the last two weeks but I have been to yoga, been the only one there apart from the teacher which highlighted by inflexibility and my cheating too. On the Sunday I did not Zumba as my much younger colleague bailed out with a hang over (they say that youth is wasted on the young!) so I went for a walk instead. I walked from my house in Bridge Street around the back of the Citroen garage (points of interest) along by Althams, crossed over by Ghyllmount Dentist, walked by North Lakes Spa and the long way round, not by North Lakes School, but by the Cricket Club and Ullswater School instead. Stopped at Step-Papas for a cup of tea and then home via the shortest way possible. I felt very good, relaxed, toned and then slept for most of the day! All this thanks to a hang over and not even mine!
Now I have a confession to make. I am an emotional eater. There, I said it. Any change in my emotions and I head for food. Now I have made no secret of the fact that my son and I have a dis-harmonious relationship at the moment but it has gone on for over a year and finally came to ahead. I asked him to leave and live elsewhere and within 24 hours he had cleared his belongings from his room and set up camp with a friend. The attic room is strangely quiet and the food is the fridge is strangely still there but I have a broken heart. Now, without boring you with the finer details I do firmly believe that TGUW had out grown the nest and the fact that he settled quickly into new accommodation proves that he is resourceful and capable but I feel terrible. I am a failure as a Mother as well as a weight loser. I have spent the last week crying, pacing and re-living. It was a long time coming but not easy. If he had gone to University I would be fretting and sending food parcels but in this case I am not. I am fretting but the food is staying put!
Actually, the food is not staying put. I am herding it into my mouth with frightening ferocity. I actually had 3 Chunky Kit-Kats in one afternoon and the rugby hadn’t even started! And MGA and I have had three Chinese take outs this week.
No exercise (formal), half hearted attempt at weight loss, emotional termoil –
Weight loss this week = 1 lb
Week commencing 15th March
Not a great week by anybodies standards. Firstly I had my appraisal which only served to show that I am an incompetent, middle aged, bitter and twisted woman who cannot bare to be told that she is an incompetent, middle aged, bitter and twisted woman by someone’s whose chest still resides above their waist. I played dumb a lot of the time which meant that my appraiser had to answer the questions herself, I’m glad to say that she passed, but did not make her more tolerable of me.
The following day we had the research monitors in and they decided that out of the four desks in the office only one looked so inviting that they simply had to use it. I was evicted to the library. Now before all this happened I had received an e-mail to tell me that my friend, Annie, had died the day before. She had breast cancer five years ago and when I saw her last, five years ago, she had completed treatment and had had her mastectomy. In fact, she greeted me at her front door topless so I could see her scar. I would have preferred to walk into the house first and even have a cup of tea but that was Annie for you.
She had a huge impact on my life. I went to work on her ward just after Josh was born. I worked on the Bank there and was asked to apply for a permanent position when one came up. We worked together most weekends and did extra shifts together. I would collect her in the morning and drop her off after shift. She was once told off my the management for riding a bike on the ward and would frequently climb into bed with the patients if she felt that they were lonely or sad. We worked well together, she would wash hair and clean behind the beds while I would be looking after the acute patients and their machines. She taught me that to be a good nurse you don’t have to be good at looking after machines, read charts and balance budgets, it helps certainly, but to be a good nurse you have to have time, patience and a genuine interest in people. I looked after machines and she looked after people and I can tell you, she cracked it every time! We would have bacon sandwiches and maple and pecan twists on a Sunday and I adored her. She was married to a Malaysian man called Dave, had six beautiful children in 7 years, was a strict Catholic and called her husband, ‘The Black Bastard’. By the time I had moved to Cumbria Annie had 4 Grand-children and was as happy as a pig in …. She didn’t do birthday cards or Xmas cards so it was a bit one sided and no-body really new her age. I had actually been thinking of her all month because I know that her birthday is in March so was sending her positive thoughts. On the day of her retirement ‘do’ she was the only one that didn’t go because she was having a mastectomy – she didn’t tell a soul
Annie lived in a huge house in Goodmayes, Ilford. She loved her house and one of her sons was, is, a designer so there was always things going on. She prepared banquets for friends and encouraged children to thump away at the piano. Where you and I would have garden gnomes Annie had an over turned shopping trolley in the front garden and she had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met. She had a boxer dog, endless cats and a house that was always upside down. She had a neighbour/odd job man called Penfold (Danger Mouse reference) and another neighbour called Asian Elvis (who had a thing for me incidentally). I last saw her five years ago after she had had her surgery but talked on the phone albeit infrequently. She was the kindest, wildest, most wanton woman I had ever met and she will definitely be the brightest star in heaven.
So, I spent the day in the library supposedly working but actually I just sat. I found a book about womens experiences of breast cancer and read that. They are so strong and resilient, I read it wonder!
Throughout the day I contacted and was contacted by friends in London and plans were made for me to go to Annies funeral on 25th March. I e-mailed my Auntie Shirley and Uncle Ken to say that I was coming to London and could we meet for a coffee. Ken e-mailed me back to say that Shirleys breast cancer had returned with force and had affected her bladder, bones and brain. She was under the care of Macmillan services and had a few weeks to live. I last saw Shirley in July at my Mums funeral and she was ageless, glamorous and as lady-like as ever. She went grey in her twenties so was ageless. She was also beautifully turned out, slim for all of her life and elegant. My Mum was the opposite and I remember as a kid being quite jealous of her daughters for having such a Mum. But I wouldn’t have swapped.
My week has not been great.
But I have been in control of my eating. My Caesar salad addiction is taking off nicely and in fact, members are following. I have been really well in control this week and planned evening meals too. It is easier cooking for just me and MGA, no pressure on time, no meat if we don’t want meat and just a relaxed atmosphere at home.
Weight loss = 2 lbs
Week commencing 22nd March
Going to London this week, to Annies funeral and to say goodbye to Auntie Shirley. Actually Auntie Shirley died on Monday morning at 6.30. As she was my Mums best friend, known me for 46 years and was a constant in my life, I feel slightly bereft. Anyway, food is the order of the day and food is where I find solace.
I was getting ready for group, walking around town, and had the desire for chocolate. The only thing I could find was a Double Decker so I bought it and walked along munching happily. Then it happened, an ex-member started waving furiously at me from across the road so I had to stop and exchange pleasantries. She asked about class and when I asked her when she would be coming back she told me while rubbing her seven month pregnant stomach.
What members will do to get out of coming to group!!
Have returned from 3 day visit to London which, quite frankly, was as bad as I thought. I saw my Mums Best Friends family and ate platefuls of food there. As the caterers had been in there were lots of lovely goodies including finger-food Danish Pastries. One had to try them! I had the statutory fish balls and was then given home-made Chicken soup. Now this was in a container, frozen and then secured with Redbridge Council Biohazard tape, just to make sure it could escape. When I got back to my friends where I was staying, the soup was placed in the freezer in between the frozen peas and frozen mice (they have a snake). I needed wine so had 3 glassfuls before falling into bed.
The following day I went to Annies funeral which turned out to be a full 90 minutes mass followed by a 30 minute burial. The mass was lovely but the crunch came when family talked about their Mum and how she had touched the lives of everyone that she met. There were poems and music and even a Soprano. It was beautiful but emotionally draining. Lunch was an M&S sandwich and dinner was at a Chinese restaurant at Gants Hill, with wine and then more wine at home. Oh yes, in between that I bought an ice cream which was a cone with a double scoop of mint choc chip and banana fudge. This is turning into a confessional!
The point I am trying to make is that it is okay to eat and eat what one wants but take charge and then don’t complain when the weight goes on. I have no way been out of control of my eating, I have been in control of eating whatever I want, enjoying it, and knowing why I am doing it. I feel sad, it’s as simple as that. But at the end of the week when I have put on that 2 lbs that I lost last week I will know why, except it and get back on track. In fact the getting back on track has already started. I took boiled egg and Caesar salad and yoghurts for lunch today, declined wine last night and left the chocolate in the display shelf in Morrisons. I feel in charge and empowered.
I did, however, do the dutiful cooking thing last night. Thinking that I had neglected MGA for three days I thought that I would cook to make up for it so attempted to re-create the Delia Smith Waitrose advert of Rhubarb and Ginger Crème Brulee. I replaced the greek yoghurt with Total 0% greek yoghurt and then replaced the double cream with fat free Creme Fraiche. The only dodgy thing was the sugar coating. So I boiled the rhubarb, drained off the juice, covered with the Crème Fraiche and Yoghurt mixture, covered liberally with brown sugar and grilled until bubbly. Then realised that I had forgotten to add the Ginger!
The result was absolutely delicious! The consistency was right, the rhubarb had bite and the topping was brittle. The whole thing was perfect, until I bit down on a piece of topping and broke my tooth! The Dentist estimates about £45 for the filling which is being done on Wednesday.
‘Are you still off chocolate?’, says Smartie-Pants-Thin-Colleague. ‘No’ replies Middle-Aged-But-Powerfully-Attractive-Bolg-Writer. The truth is I am back on my chocolate equals wellbeing cycle but did manage 4 weeks of abstinence which I think desires a ‘tificate. I didn’t really miss it and I haven’t really missed bread either, except that now it is back in the house I am eating it like the bomb is about to land. Strange isn’t it?
I have also been on my charity shop trawl and bought myself some new clothes, same size as before (14) but hey! I bought a grey wrap over dress, some ‘pull it up and hold it in’ tights and some big colourful beads. I looked great. Until I sat down that is, then the tights slipped, belly made bid for freedom and it was ‘bulges us’.
I never quite get it right.
Week commencing 5th April
I have survived Easter. Not only did I get no eggs, I bought no eggs either. I did buy fruit pastilles for MGA (I was tricked, Your Honour). I was given a box of Ferrero Roche chocolates and scoffed the lot – there was only 4 in the box and the excitement of eating them all while the kettle boiled was almost too much to bare. And I haven’t loss my mojo when it comes to eating quickly and quietly, a trait that MGA has also acquired, probably from my Mother.
I went to my Sisters for Easter Sunday and managed to fob her off with the Christmas pudding so my house was completely safe. I Have to ask at this point, does what you eat at someone else’s house count? I had salmon, pots and veggies but I don’t suppose the chocolate sponge with chocolate custard or the cheesecake was a good idea. Although dipping the strawberries in the chocolate custard was very popular amongst the other guests! Anyway, my fridge is full of salads, no bread since TGUW left home, sugar free jelly and low fat dips. Perfect!
But lo! What sight upon yon cupboard shelf doth breaks? It is fair jar of sauce and chocolate is its name! Now this jar of chocolate sauce is left over from the Ringtons Hamper that I bought at Xmas. I have no biscuits, sponge cake or Ryvitta left, the only thing I have is Rice Cakes. They’ll do!
Image the scene, sitting on chair, dressed in ‘Slanket’ (blanket with arms, thank fully no mouth!), over-sized hand knitted socks, eating rice cakes covered in chocolate sauce. MGA turns to me and says’ You want to have a look at yourself’
And I wonder why I’m single!
So today I am turning it around.
Organisation is the order of the day. Last night I got the slow cooker out and into I put mince turkey, pots, leeks, peas, onions, carrots, turnip that had seen better days, Lee & Perrins sauce, Oxo cube, boiling water = Varty Slosh. Now this dish is cooked over many, many hours and is ready for when myself and MGA have finished group. As everything is included there is no waiting for veg to cook so we eat as soon as we get in and because this recipe was given to us by the lovely Kim Varty it is cooked with love and is real comfort food.
Back to organisation;
Breakfast – Shreddies 29g = 40 shreddies
½ tub Total 0% greek yoghurt
Rest of chocolate sauce (cannot waste food, Mother would not be happy)
Chopped Pear (goes well with chocolate sauce)
Lunch – Caesar salad
Hard boiled egg
Muller Light yoghurts
Snack – Hi-Fi bar
Muller light yoghurt
Dinner – Varty Slosh
Naughty things – 1 Cadburys Crème egg (goooooo). I only bought 1 when the lady in the shop (her with horns and a tail) told me it was 2 for 80p (and you know how I love a bargin!)
Food Diary. I think I will give everyone a food diary tonight at group, just to get them back on track. Ideas come thick and fast when what you eat is healthy and energising!
Right so, back on track. Thursday had a really bad day which kinda slid into a really bad evening not helped by my Manager coming to watch me in action. I felt as though I had some reflection to do and this inspired me to get my act together so this weekend I;
Read Slimming World books
Read ‘Chooses Success’ especially concentrating on page 1 and page 4
Decided on changing usual foods so,
Bought new food
Cooked new food
Ate and enjoyed new food
Counted Syns when necessary
Allowed for 15 syns on Saturday and then back to 10 Syns on Sunday
Allowed for 10 syns for rest of week
Exercised – cleaned out shed
Exercised – cleaned out garden
Exercised – Hip Hop class at the gym. Yes, you read right, a hip hop class
Things I did differently;
Bought more fruit, on offer at Morrisons
Bought more veg, on offer at Morrisons
Counted stolen sweets, 4 midget gems = 1.5 syns, 8 = 3 syns stc
Allowed for more syns on Saturday, which I have recognised as my ‘rubbish at keeping to plan’ day
Expressed desire to lose weight and to eat healthily
Bought white blouse that requires stomach and over flowing chesticles to be kept under control/reduced, when wearing it.
Went to the gym
Planned exercise routine with colleague who is in training for marathon-type-activity and is therefore totally intolerant of excuses
Active at home, actually active in the garden
Planned meals ahead (Varty Slosh cooking as I write)
Planned lunches ahead and stuck to them (Its only Monday!)
Monday 3 May 2010
Claires Weight Loss Bolg
(it should be blog but I can’t spell)
Do not read if you are of a nervous disposition easily offended.
I have decided to make a concerted effort to drop my weight, after all how can I stand up in front of groups and speak about weight loss when my own journey is careering out of control.
Yesterday I spent most of the day tugging up my trousers so celebrated this obvious loss of flab by treating myself to a KitKat. What sense is that!! At the weekend I bought myself 3 tops from the Heart Foundation shop and they look great, apart from my bulging belly trying to make a guest appearance through the front. I feel fat, and ugly and slow. Climbing the stairs to the wards is an effort and on reaching the 2nd floor I am puffed, aching and ready for a sit down.
I want to lose this weight but in a painless way and I know that I can’t eat and lose so I do this very child-like thing of just pretending it isn’t happening and that everything is okay. But I know it isn’t. I don’t want to look like my Mum. She was great but not careful with herself, ate to excess and made excuses for her greed. Deep down I don’t think she was okay with how she looked but wouldn’t do anything about it. My sister lost weight with Lighterlife and did well but then lost motivation and put all back on. I don’t want to kid myself that I eat healthily when deep down I know that I am not, I’m just making excuses all of the time.
What I want is to be curvy but slim – that is my aim. Drop a dress size, be a definite size 12 not a size 14 and certainly not a size 16, been there didn’t like the physical effects. Didn’t like being slow, puffed on exertion and tired. So am adopting positive mental attitude and get this weight off.
Friday 22nd January 2010
Last night son was in charge of providing dinner for when I got home at about 8pm. As he is the man of the house, the hunter gatherer and provider of ….. bugger all really, he went out and bought a 12 inch pizza. NOT the spicy chicken one, thank goodness, as that my favourite and I would have eaten loads. He bought some meat feast creation which was full of dubious types of dead animal and tasted really mediocre. No salad in the fridge to help it go down, (the 5 bags as discussed at group had actually exploded leaving terrible debris in the fridge but that tale is for another day!) so had to make do with a slice of pizza by itself.
Managed 4 slices. How many syns in Gaviscon?
Today I have started afresh. I have got out the book, started the food diary, using my best handwriting ‘cos that is how serious I am! And have brought a small bowl of fruit to work consisting off a plum, an apricot and some lycees. A fabulous start. Had Special K with chocolate, (if you can find it), and strawberries, (dried up and wrinkly, like a victim from the film ‘The Mummy’), for breakfast using skimmed milk. Have written out shopping list which comprises mainly of the words ‘low fat’ and Muller Light (join in when you know the words). I am fit to trot! Looked in the book to find that that breakfast was 5 syns to start with. Special K Sustain is a Healthy B but then again only 28g which I could possibly fit into my eye socket.
Have just been to the wards to find prospective patients for my trials, only to be told to get off ‘cos the wards have D & V. Looks like an admin day today then. These are the hardest days, sitting at the computer, bored and restless. Suddenly the bowl of fruit looks pathetic. Why do I want food all the time, I think about it all the time. Men are supposed to think about sex every few seconds, I think of bacon sandwiches. Maybe that’s why I am alone! I resist the temptation of a grilled breakfast in the canteen and try to think of other ways to celebrate ‘its Friday’. By the time I am back in the office I am sweating, starving and wishing I had never started. It is possible to be big and beautiful, after all a well dressed woman is a well dressed woman. Then why is it that woman like Alison Moyet and Hannah Waterman have dropped their size. Is it primarily for their careers or is it that they really, truly want to go into mature life being as healthy as possible and not held back by weight related health issues like achy joints, lack of breath and sleep problems. These role models are looking forward and seeing that holding onto the ‘big girl’ mantra isn’t all it was made out to be. There are few big girls coming up on the younger scene, look at Michelle McManus, looking fabulous on Scottish TV as a presenter, curvy but definitely less of her.
Stop typing to pull up trousers – no I have not been ravaged while sitting quietly in my office, they are just shimmying down slightly. A good sign or is the bulging belly making another bid for freedom?
It’s now 11.19 hours. Why is lunchtime so late in the day? Have strategically placed bottle of water on desk as I need to drink more and sometimes we mistake dehydration for hunger.
Pick up bottle have a drink. Put down bottle. Need to pee – are the two connected?
I have been embroiled in work. Sorting out files to be exact. Not exhilarating but satisfies my obsessive compulsive desire for things facing the same way and being neat (you should see my knickers drawer!). The time is 12.15 – lunch time. I go to the restaurant (a canteen with up lighting!) and look at the desirable food. Once again Marco Pierre-White need not fear but actually the beef cobbler looks good.
I order jacket potato with baked beans with spring vegetable soup.
Looks like today is going to be a Green day after all and I thought I was on Original. The soup is salty and gluppy, obviously made from a domestic packet and stretched out with extra water as evidenced by me only having 6 pieces of veg in my tub and 3 of those look dubious. I should have bought that chicken for £5 when I had the chance and cooked it in the slow cooker then I could have made my own soup. Note to self – be more spontaneous and organised. Pudding is 4 Lycees. Now Lycees are lovely and are free but, like getting that date with the guy you have drooled over for ages, tastes nice, make you feel good about yourself but really very little comes from all that effort.
On way back from pee number 14 I walked past a tea trolley containing cake, unattended and go-go gadget arms (not under my control and directly linked to get-get gettit mouth) did not reach out and take one. Claire:1. Insatiable desire for food: 0.
I eventually go home via Morrisons. I have to go everyday, it’s like an addiction. I sometimes think that Morrisons is the equivalent of the old fashion neighbour and if the staff haven’t seen me for 24 hours then they will knock on my door and check to see if I’m still alive. I buy total rubbish and look at the chickens for £5, think about the versatility of it and promptly put it back. Dinner is gonna be a take out.
Now my children (laughingly referred to as ‘children’ although one is 19 and the other 17 and both have outstayed their welcome. Actually one was breast fed for two weeks and one was breast fed for four weeks and they had outstayed their welcome by then!), they have the ability to make a simple take out into a banquet. There are four of us (including sons girlfriend) and one would assume that two rice and two main would suffice but no, everyone wants their own. Six bloody dishes and I haven’t even chosen yet. I decide to have a bit of everyone else’s and that almost causes a riot. I resort to the old adage of ‘who is paying for this?’ Josh, (the Great Un-Washed), raises his hand. Good lad!
Friday – Green – Syns used = can’t count that high. Lost it at 11.5
Saturday 23rd January
After last night I wake with renewed vigour. I have fat free natural yoghurt, what lacks in taste makes up in ‘sense of virtueness!’, and my fruit cocktail of blueberries, kiwi fruit and grapes. It’s a busy day today with my priority being nails, eyebrows and hair, so a day of pampering.
I pop in to see Step-Dad who is doing wonderfully well after our recent bereavement. He has started to cook for himself, ok, microwave meals for dinner and Meals-on-Wheels for lunch, but Victor Meldrew of Penrith is doing well. He waxes lyrical about Somerfields frozen, pre-packed meals for one versus Morrisons frozen, pre-packed meals for one and holds forth on the subject of potato portions for the over 70’s. I eat 4 biscuits while drinking tea and listening to this rant. However the man is a feeder and has bought me, not only a Cranstons Cornish pasty (heaven in pastry!) but a maple and pecan pastry too. Well, it would be rude not to wouldn’t it so reluctantly I give in. Self loathing? disappointment? No, loved every mouthful. Note to self – find out syn value of said pasty (hopefully, about 2).
Having nails done and not feeling very bright. Start to feel achy and tired, sore throat. Pop into Morrisons and buy that chicken for £5 with view to making several meals out of it. I also buy Shreddies as these are a Healthy B for 28g so will give it a try.
Go home and take paracetamol (how many syns in them I wonder?). Decide to prepare food for family so bake bread (tomato and cheese), roast the chicken in water to make good stock and then make homemade soup (chicken and vegetable). I am domestic Goddess.
Saturday – Green. Fill in food diary = 24 syns. Slightly too many me thinks! Down on A’s and had no B’s at all, but managed to overdose on syns! I am weight loss failure.
Sunday 24th January
Now I am going to be completely focused and get my arse into gear. The last two days have been green so today I will be red I have natural yoghurt and frozen fruit for breakfast and put contents of casserole into slow cooker. Now this casserole is known as ‘Saturday Casserole’ because my Mum used to make it on a Saturday before going off to do the Provident round. She left early morning and by the time she came home it was cook and delicious. It consists of braising steak or stewing steak, a tin of tomatoes, a tin of butter beans and some split peas. The longer it cooks, the better so it’s ideal for a slow cooker. The Great Un-Washed, (TGUW) and My Glamorous Assistant, (MGA) are totally confused about having casserole on a Sunday. But hang on a mo! It’s a red day today so whats with the lentils and beans. Bugger, I’ll have to change. It’s a green day today and Saturday casserole (on a Sunday) will be perfect.
Feel awful, go back to bed. Hot, cold and shivery. One cup of tea brought up to me by MGA. I am neglected, dying and fat! My hair looks great though.
Sunday – Green, or is it red? Syns = 8
Monday 25th January
I will crack this if it kills me. Still feel awful. Spend 30 minutes on phone trying to get GP appointment. Put Cranstons Pork and Apple burgers into slow cooker and cover with left over casserole, switch on and leave alone. Breakfast is again yoghurt and fruit but this time I have Shreddies too. 28g to be precise and for that you get 40.
TGUW is waxing lyrical about Shreddies, apparently his Father gets them in for him especially when he goes and stays with him. Typical, not a penny given towards his education but remembered for buying bloody breakfast cereal. I carried that boy for 9 months and was left with stretch marks, piles and an A.W.O.L pelvic floor. Every penny I earn is spent on those ingrates and father is on a pedestal for a box of £2.49 Shreddies!!! Didn’t like to say that it is his Step-Mother who actually buys the food for the children but that’s another story.
I am surprised at how full I feel after eating this breakfast and how I don’t actually feel hungry until mid-morning now as opposed to 10 minutes after eating. Perhaps this eating healthily is beneficial after all!
Now having got into the habit of making bread every day and now getting into experimenting with the ingredients I feel compelled to try my efforts. Now having been a fan of ‘The Restaurant’ Raymond Blanc persistently told the participants to taste, taste, taste so taste I must.
4 slices later I feel that I have reached the pinnacle of bread making and can relax in the baking department.
Monday – Green. Syns = 12. Is that right? Where did I go wrong?
Tuesday 26th January
Still feel lousy and would probably do better if left to die, however, world still spinning and children cannot possibly do shopping let alone MAKE THEIR MOTHER A CUP OF TEA.
Decided to cash in prescription for antibiotics to see if that improves the situation. Start taking Penicillin, throat not better, bottom springs into action. Now, ‘antibiotic bum’ is a recognised medical condition and it has been known for people to have to stop taking the meds because they are never off the loo. I can break the porcelain on a good day and have been known to block loos at work so this could be interesting. I will cut down on the fruit, just in case and not go too far from home.
Whilst at Morrisons I treat myself to a newly invented Maltesers Bunny. I try one, WOW! That was good. I can add those to my daily treat and leave my Freddo The Frog alone for a bit. 9 syns – You’re havin a laugh!
Spag Bol for dinner, using Passatta. An a jelly for pud. On offer at Morrisons, 3 for £1. Even MGA is into those so have to buy double.
Tuesday – Red. Syns = 12.5. Malteser Bunny is to blame! Note to self – stick to frogs and leave bunnys well alone.
Wednesday 27th January
I have a confession to make. I watch Alan Titchmarsh. I know, I know. I look normal (ish) and I sound as though I am from this planet but AT (to his friends) is really quite harmless and his chattering on is pretty inoxuous. Anyway, he had Rusty Lee on and she was cooking a spicy beef and plantain dish which I have decided to try. I go to Morrisions (I told you I was there a lot) and buy the ingredients.
I have my usual Shreddies , yoghurt and fruit for lunch and then I have prawns in mayo with lettuce and balsamic vinegar for lunch, all was delicious. I am still taking the Penicillin and me and the bathroom are now intimately acquainted. However, I start drinking water. I am not a great drinker of water and can go days without having a single glass. Tea I drink every 5 minutes but water is not something that I ‘go for’. Have found bottle and fill it. Start to drink throughout the day. Drink, pee, drink, pee. I am too busy to do anything else. Actually since being off work I have knitted a pair of socks. I get tired doing any activity but can manage to sit and knit – bliss!
While cooking I suddenly feel really hungry, the type of hungry that comes with shakes and sweating. Obviously my blood sugar has dropped so I down a yoghurt and a jelly. Start to feel better. Obviously I haven’t eaten enough so have frozen fruit with more yoghurt. This takes time to eat as the fruit freezes the yoghurt but it certainly does the trick.
Enjoy spicy beef with plantain served with rice and peas. Not only am I domestic Goddess but multi-cultural one too!
Wednesday – Red. Syns = 5. I did it, I did it!
Weigh in = Now weigh in for me will have to be on a Wednesday so I can write up this diary for Thursday so............ Weigh in = 12st 6.5lbs from 12st 9.5lbs
3.5 lbs off!!!!!
I lie in bed and reflect on the day. My hands rest on my belly and as I am lying on my side I realise that my beloved ‘pod’ is getting out of control. I have a dimple in my belly and if I squeeze either side of it I can make the shape of a face. I could probably set up a vaudeville act, ‘Claire and her amazing talking belly’. I lie on my back and my pod disappears, probably gone to the same place as my boobs (they too disappear when I lie on my back) and my hip bones are only just poking through. There must be more interesting things to do in bed!
Thursday 28th January
Although I am not a well woman I have to do group. I have this diary to introduce as well as the photo album. I have only printed photos onto copier paper but the quality is great. The slow cooker is on full alert tonight so when I get home from group I have casserole waiting for me and whilst the Slimming World computer is working out the high finances, I boil some potatoes and Bobs Your Uncle!
Thursday – Green. Syns = 7 (including a 2 finger Kitkat.)
Friday 29th January
Today started well but ended up a total loss. Step-Papa has done his sabotage thing again and presented me with a Cranstons pastie and a Pegan/Maple Syrup pastrie, which as a consolation was below standard! I then got a phone call from my friend asking me out for my supper so off to The Lounge we go.
2 cocktails, beef strips, fries, deep fried Brie and crab cakes later, me and my bloated belly are sitting uncomfortably watching Jonathon Ross. I cannot even work out the Syn value of my simple meal but as I loved every mouthful I decide to let it lie.
Friday – Red. Syns = Too many to mention
Saturday 30th January
Today is the day of exercise. I am going to clean my house. I listened to an article on the radio that said that Which magazine had decided that housework used up more calories than Ninetendo Wii so while MGA cleaned the lounge and dinning room I cleaned the bathroom, kitchen, stairs and hallway. I plugged into Micheal Buble on my iPod and ‘swang’ while I cleaned.
We started at 10.30 and finished at 2.30 so lunch was missed, never mind a crème egg will surfice!. Tonight we are having prawn, noodle and Pak Choi soup followed by salmon and pasta. Another green day.
Not only did Step-Papa have another pastrie up his sleave (not literally, I have limits to wear I get my indulgencies) but I have broken an acrylic too.
Saturday – Red. Syns = About 20!
This needs some serious consideration. My Step-Father fed my Mother, as he now turned his foodie attentions onto me. We, (at this point I claim my Brother and Sister), were brought up by a strict Mother and less strict Father. We were brought up to celebrate everything with food. And I mean everything, birthdays, weddings, end of the week, promotions. My Mother ‘treated’ with food, a cake here, a bun there. She became diabetic in her later years but as young woman she was slim and attractive. Her own weight didn’t rise until after the birth of 3 children. She was brought up in post-war Britain and could remember rationing. So everything was favoured and you cleared your plate. As children we were all brought up to eat whatever was put in front and never to decline food as it was an insult to the host to refuse. My Mother was not the exception in this. Many a broken of heart was mended with food, we ate out and because of my Mother working in the East End of London for most of her teaching career, we were introduced to multi-cultural cuisine too so there was no stopping us. In fact our food world just got bigger from an early age. So do I carry that on in my own little family unit. Why do I ‘treat’ with food and not say, a ball of wool (fanatical knitter!), a magazine, a diamond!! It is something to think about! (not the diamond but the alternative treat!)
Sunday 31st January
Supposed to go to see my Sister in Durham today but as I am driving over I feel unwell, weight in my chest, heavy feeling, so I turn around and come home. Now my Sister has read an article about ovarian cancer this week and because I have mentioned my antibiotic bum she has decided that I have it. I promise to visit the doctor tomorrow as I feel that Cue-doc will be ill prepared for my Sisters on slaught of my symptoms and I go home to sit in the chair. I don’t even feel like knitting, now that says it all. At 11am I have a cup of tea, yes made by MGA so I know that I am on the way out, and on goes back episodes of Hollyoaks. She knows how to kick you when you’re down does MGA!. The next thing I know it’s 3.30.Now that was a big waste of a Sunday!
MGA is also asleep and someone in Hollyoaks is slagging off someone else in Hollyoaks so I don’t think that I’ve actually missed much. Anyway, onwards and upwards. I decide to slap some bread in the bread maker (please note that I am now so routine in making bread that it is no longer an enlightening experience) I put on the slow cooker and put in chicken pieces, a courgette, a re pepper and a box of passatta and switch on. Tomorrow is sorted. Now for tonight. TGUW is due back from work soon so I decide on chilli and rice and fry off some turkey mince, spring onions, red pepper, and mushrooms. I open a tin of kidney beans; add a chicken stock cube and a shake of chilli pepper, salt and black pepper and my creation is complete. I leave to let the ingredients get to know each other and will serve with rice later on upon the hunter, gatherers return.
Week of 20th February
This week started s a total and utter loss, a waste of a week quite frankly. I could not get it together with regards to...... anything really. I have been hungry to the point of absurd and have indulged in chinese take-away (mediocre) and fish and chips (delicious). I ran out of Total yoghurt and had to make do with Shreddies and milk for breakfast and lunch, although my fav Ceasar salad, just was not enough. I had a marinated lime and chicken tortilla one day for lunch, and two days of sandwiches bought from the hospital shop and contained something! So all in all my week was spontaneous and wild, actually it was poorly planned and undirected. Work was busy but uneventful and homelife was busy and vey eventful.
As you know I have joined a fitness centre so on Friday I decided to go to Yoga with m work colleague, Nicci. Now Nicci is twenty plus years younger than me and trained as a Physio so very fit. Hatha Yoga was on from 4 pm until 5 pm and followed by Power Yoga. We decided to go for the Hatha Yoga with an open option for Power Yoga. The instructor explained the difference between the two and we decided to go from the first option. I have never been very flexible and put it down to having longer legs than arms. We breathed, stretched and postured. I ached, grunted and spasmed but at no time did I fart! The relaxation at the end was lovely and I left feeling very ‘at one’. On the way home I felt fantastic. I felt very relaxed but invigorated at the same time. Nicci and I are going to work towards doing the Power Yoga. I did sleep really well.
On Saturday I went and bought my knitting magazines and there in one of them was a pattern for Yoga Socks. I could not believe it. The Universe has spoken to me. I am destined to touch my toes. I will be that flexible person! I am knitting Yoga Socks – put your names on the waiting list provided.
In the light of the Universe picking me out I have re-planned my fridge and cupboards. Which means that I now have food. I have also agreed to go to Sunday morning ‘Zumba Dance’ sessions. It starts at 9.30 on a Sunday morning, which means I need to be in bed on Saturday night for 9 pm. Now I only agreed to do this to keep my much younger work colleague company. She was going out on Saturday night with friends so no doubt she would be tired, hung over and all together not fully functioning. We agreed to meet in the car park and she was there! Looking bright, refreshed and young. The youth of today are so unreliable!
Anyway, the class started with the hypnotic latin beat. I kept up with the instructor as we salsa’ed, mamba’ed and cha-cha’ed around the room, I mean studio. We stayed at the back so we could not see ourselves in the mirror (which covered two of the four walls). The group was full of different ages and sizes which was great and I was glad that I was not the oldest. Now, I don’t know if you have seen ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ when Louis goes to dance classes and the teacher advises her to changes tutors because she has ‘out grown’ his class. In her head she is sublime, floating around the room and totally in tune with the music. In reality the tutor has asked her to change classes because he cannot cope with her uncoordinated, desperate attempts at dance. Well, that was me. I thought I was totally ‘in the zone’, hips swayed, keeping up with the class, shimmying everything that could be shimmied. I then caught sight of a tall middle aged woman in black 3 beats behind everyone else and totally stiff form the knees up.
We had to gyrate our hips, which actually caused me pain and then we moved parts that, to be honest, I had not moved since the night I conceived my eldest. However, the music was hot, I was hot and oh, how Lycra can chaff! We had to do this move where we moved our shoulders from side to side which waggled our chests. Now, I spent £27.99 on my sports bra to keep my buzuums up, down and contained. Now I had to waggle them frantically all in the name of fitness – doesn’t make sense to me.
At 9.45 I looked at the clock and was delighted that the time had gone by so quickly. I mentally patted myself on the back, I had been dancing for 45 minutes and was only just feeling that death would be a welcome release. Then I realised that the session started at 9.30 and that I had actually been going for only 15 minutes! By 10.10 I was wondering if the paramedics would come into the group or if I had to crawl out of the studio to meet them. By 10.20 my heart was pleading with me to stop and my pelvic floor, like Elvis, had long since left the building. Then the words I longed to hear, ‘only two more songs to to, leeeetttts Zumba!’ I somehow managed to keep up (3 beats behind is still ‘keeping up’) and at the end of the session I walked to the car leaving Nicci to do some gym work (I did say that youth are unreliable!). I was suitably sweaty, flushed and toned, an advertisement for healthy living. Actually, I limped across the car park, had sopping wet hair and was so flushed I looked like I had contracted a tropical disease.
Same again next week.
Claire's Weight Loss Bolg
I started my Weight Loss Blog because I had set myself the challenge of losing 10 lbs in 5 weeks. I was fed up with my ever increasing belly and as a Slimming World Consultant wanted to prove that I could be as good as my word and it wasn't just a case of 'do as I say, not as I do'. It is called 'Bolg' not 'blog' because of a simple spelling mistake.
I write on a twice weekly basis for my members, as I have two groups, and it has taken on a life force of its own. Some of my family and members have suggested writing a blog properly so here it is. I will be publishing the Blog from the beginning, so, as they say, Watch this space!
I write on a twice weekly basis for my members, as I have two groups, and it has taken on a life force of its own. Some of my family and members have suggested writing a blog properly so here it is. I will be publishing the Blog from the beginning, so, as they say, Watch this space!
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